Thursday, March 19, 2015

Waiting...learning...and about to be 7!

We have been patiently waiting for this sweet #5 to arrive, but he or she is very content to stay put! My other four were all a week or two weeks early, so being 5 days over due with my fifth has made this pregnancy seem long!! Added on top has been the fun anticipation of the girls! Being 10 & 7 they full understand all the goodness we are waiting on and have been asking me daily for three weeks if "today could be the day." We are all ready and tomorrow, Lord willing, will be the day we become a family of 7!!

Knowing the end is near has made me want to stop and enjoy these last kicks and movements. Of course, sitting on my counter is a never ending to-do list and the things I should finish today are swirling through my mind, but I'm trying to be still for a bit and reflect on this precious gift we are about to be given.

I want to believe I've gained wisdom in my 10 years of being a mom. Being pregnant at 34 is a lot more difficult than it was to be pregnant at 24- physically- but, emotionally it, is a sweet gift. When I look at Shaelyn, who just turned 10, I see this grown up child. She is tall, beautiful, mature beyond her years, and we have conversations that fill me & challenge me. I know how quickly the years have passed. I know how quickly it goes from diapers to potty training, kindergarten to 4th grade and I keep persistently asking The Lord to prepare my heart to enjoy each moment of it with each of my children.

The "world" doesn't really promote the idea of becoming a family of 7. I can't even begin to recall all the comments  I have received during this pregnancy- both in humor "you know how babies are made?" to just the harshness of a stranger- "did you want to be pregnant again?" The world tells me I can't loved them all well enough.  I will fall short on the pinterest holidays and birthday parties. Did we count the number of bedrooms we have or the number of years we will parent before they are all in college? Have we factored in the cost of college x5!? All of the worlds ways do factor in to welcoming this child tomorrow. It's not going to be easy to balance the schedule of 4 busy kids, school, sports and a newborn. Our kids will not get to have some experiences other kids have because of the size of our family. Our house doesn't fully function for a family of 7. There will not be a single pinterest birthday party this year :). But, I take great joy in knowing that they things of Our Father are so much greater than that of this world. Tomorrow, The Lord is blessing us with a child that is going to shape and mold each one of us. This little one is going to be a relationship that will forever change each of my kids and I love that! Being this little ones mom will continually push me to sacrifice my own desires and rely on a Father who has strength and love so much greater than what I could ever give on my own. Ten years ago as I waited for Shaelyn to be born I had no idea the ways that being a mom would change me. Today, I sit eternally grateful that I have been changed and eager to continue the growth tomorrow. May I daily let go of the ways the world tells me to parent & rely on the truths I hear My Father whispering to my heart. What a sweet, sweet gift I have been given to be a mom of five!!